More from 'Daredevil,' the comic this time

In Daredevil: Born Again, our hero more or less loses it ... for a while, and disappears.

His friends, Foggy and Gloriana O'Breen, Matt Murdock's ex, try to help with no success, and Glori says to Foggy: "When a bomb went off back in Ireland it was like this ... waitin ... not knowin."

It is good to know that able-bodied people feel what I feel, but the "waitin," not being able to do anything, is the worst part of being disabled for me.

I can't drive someone somewhere if they need it.

When I was in a car accident in college, Mom came to the hospital to get me. She brought my little sister, mainly for company. I couldn't even do that because I can't sit very long without needing to be excused.

I can't fix everything either, which granted, no one can, but it kills me.

All I can do is be goofy, and that feels pretty inadequate.

Not so courageous

The big story in The Washington Post today was titled "The courage to persevere":

It’s scary out there. Americans worry that the government can’t stop terrorists where we live. Security checkpoints multiply at workplaces, and in theaters and stadiums and other places where we go to relax. Schools close over hoaxes that used to be ignored. Some days, the world seems consumed by conflict.
People in authority say the right response is to carry on, live your life. That takes a certain courage, which can be a tough thing to summon when you’re on edge. But all around us, people show their courage in the quietest of ways.
This Christmas, we profile four people who fell into life’s traps — they were desperate for money, hungry for freedom, smothered by grief, trapped by disease. And then, somehow, they found their strength. They summoned their courage.

At first I thought, I hope they talk to someone in a chair. Then I decided my life is not ruled by courage as much as necessity.

I didn't go to the bathroom at church last night to be brave, but because I had to go. Ditto for why I went in the wheelchair stall, which had no overhead light.

What was my option when I tried to stand up and realized the tile was as slick as any I have encountered? I didn't get to my chair as best as I was able because I was courageous. I got to my chair because otherwise I might still be there. (Well, not really, my nephew was dutifully watching over me from outside the stall.)

How courageous is it to say that I would sell my soul to be whole?

Help times two

I was staring out the window today considering how I felt about sending two co-workers off in search of printer paper.

Actually, I didn't send them. I just asked one to help me add paper to the printer, and when we couldn't find any, the second person joined in.

After my consideration, I decided that I was OK with it and that maybe it was even a little funny.

I found it less funny when I needed help in the bathroom.

It wasn't a bad fall. I just couldn't get up on my own and was really mad.

Turns out I couldn't get up when someone help me either. My foot was trapped under my chair.

Another helper was enlisted, actually one of the printer paper people, and they helped me up.

I love that I work with people who'll help me, but hate I have to ask them to.

Daredevil hits the nail on the head

It seems from reading a past blog that Daredevil has in the past surprised me with new reasons to like him. Well, he is at it again.

We are cutting the cord these days, so I finally am watching Daredevil on Netflix. Turns out he is the good kind of bitter!

This gal is saying she couldn't imagine being blind, and he says something about how he is supposed to say he doesn't miss it and to value what he has. He then adds "I'd give anything to see the sky one more time."

I talk a lot here about what Friedreich's ataxia and a stupid wheelchair have taken from me: a monstrous lot. But at the same time I don't let it stop me from doing whatever I want to do no matter how hard or uncomfortable it is. And it will be hard and uncomfortable.

Daredevil rocks.

Oh, I'm aware

I got an email today on workplace safety during the holidays. Most were kind of common sense things, but they encourage everyone to be aware.

As if they need to tell me that in these days of mass shootings.

All I could think of was Tina Fey's line after 9/11: "Bitch, I can’t be any more alert than I already am!"

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

It’s no sin that Buffy makes multiple appearances in my Christmas nativity. After all, “She alone will stand against the vampires the demons and the forces of darkness.” Who better to stand any the Savior’s side?

But this year, I will bring in a bunch of rookies. They won’t let me down.

For starters, of course, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, and Santa.

In honor of the new Star Wars, I have two offerings. The Bantha has two roles. He will stand in for the various manger animals. Also, being a native of sandy Tatooine, he will be the perfect pack animal for the flight into Egypt. Darth Vader (M&M style) will serve as an example to Jesus. Another native of a desert, Darth was also a potential “Chosen One.” But he gave into the Sith and the Dark Side. I like to think the hard lesson of Darth Vader helped Jesus withstand the Temptation in the Desert.

Rocket Raccoon is one of two action figures I got this year. At first glance, you have to ask what on earth would connect a raccoon-looking thing with a big gun and Christmas? You’d be right, of course. But I suggest that his friendship with Groot and the other Guardians of the Galaxy is what inspired Jesus years later when he was fighting doubts at Gethsemane. If Rocket was willing to die for his friends, could Jesus do less?

Wonder Woman was the other new figure I got. She and Jesus could bond over having a god for a father. At least post-retcon, she can.

We also have Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl in honor of Simpsons Thursday. Also, when Jesus grows up, he says, “Suffer the little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for to such belongeth the kingdom of heaven.” I have no doubt that was inspired by Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl.

Also, the past four folks would dish out the hurt if Herod attacked.

As the kings, we have Max from Where the Wild Things Are, mostly because he has a crown, although the whole idea of Max and the Wild Things becoming fast friends is a strong example of tolerance.

The Brood Queen is less tolerant. She wants to infect everyone with the Brood virus that would make them Brood. Like Vader, she is an example of what not to do.

Snoopy is the last king. Granted a skateboard is not the best mode of transportation without pavement, but we all know “it’s good to be king.” He could just demand his servants make skateable paths.

Felix the Cat atop a rock-climbing wall can play the angel. Any trouble,he’ll just reach inside his bag of tricks.

Finally, in the back is a Cadillac convertible that his co-workers gave Dad when he retired. It is a 1959, the year he started at the Department of Commerce.

And overlooking everything is Claren and her pal, Sajen.

Here are the ones from 2007,  2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014. These posts also have some background. And God must be amused by this because I have not been struck down yet.

Unstapled

I got the staples out of my head this morning, no fuss, no muss.

My hair is getting a bit long, but I have a big, lumpy scab on my scalp, and it probably would not be good to drag a razor over it.

And even though it does prove I am a bad man, that is not why I left the post with my bloody head at the top of the blog. I have good reasons, sort of:

• Friday after the incident, no energy.
• Ditto Saturday.
• My computer died on Sunday.
• The next day, I was unable to nap because I was out getting a new computer battery, so I am impressed I didn't fall asleep in my dinner (but it was Taco Monday; who would fall asleep for that?).
• Tuesday I did just slack off.
• Wednesday I went out.
• Thursday is The Simpsons night.

See totally not being lame.

Happy birthday, little sister, or as bad as I wanna be

As i was transferring from my shower chair to my wheelchair this morning, I had a revelation. I had dropped my glasses behind my shower chair, and my plan was to ask whoever came down first to just grab them for me.

It was then that I realized I am going to heaven no matter what I do because offer everybody amazing opportunities to shine by helping me.

With this idea in mind, I headed over to get some clothes -- pretty proud of my mind for coming up with this "Get out of hell free" card.

I also wanted my Uggs, which were on the floor in front of me. I do not normally turn off my chair before bending over. This is stupid, I know, but so far I'd been OK. Plus, it was my sister's birthday today, so if I fell, I'd just be offering her an opportunity to work of the many, many years she has earned in purgatory. And I had my seatbelt on, so I wouldn't fall.

And I didn't.

I did, however, slip while grabbing my Uggs, and my arm hit the chair joystick, ramming my head into some trim on my wall. This happened at least twice because I recovered and got away from the wall only to hit the joystick again before I could turn it off.

I finally got away from the wall and turned off the chair. That is when I saw the blood all over my hand.

Not sure where I was bleeding, I figured I better call my sister. Normally, she answers with an "I'll be right there," and she is.

This time she said something else and that she'd be there in a second. At that point, I felt something run into my eye and I realized where I was cut. I replied with a wimpy-sounding "help." She did, followed closely by my brother-in-law.

Here is what they saw:

Not to mention bloody me.

My sister leapt into action -- cleaning me up and stopping the blood. She and my brother-in-law decided I needed to go to the ER,  so after a call to Dad and Mom brought them up, we were off.

We were the first ER patients it appeared, so we got in quick. It was all pretty normal, except someone asked if we were married. Not sure what that was about,. We look so alike one of my friends in college saw her photo and referred to her as "Matt with [breasts]."

They also put in staples, which was fine, but if I were a medical device maker, I would make the staple gun sound nothing like the stapler one uses in the office.

Then we left, noticing the ER was almost half full.

Maybe I will start turning off my chair before bending over.

PS: My sister is definitely going to heaven.

I'm getting a dog

I have been thinking that my recent posts have been a little depressing and not full of  the pratfalls and zaniness that make a disability something everyone wants.

Then today happened.

First, I got a voicemail that I couldn't really understand, but I thought I heard "dog" and "February."

I checked my email, and sure enough I got invited to get a successor service dog in February. YAY!

Drunk on that news, I went to the bathroom and fell getting back in my chair. I called for help and a couple of guys helped me back in my chair but not before I got a huge scrape on my inner thigh.

I returned to my desk where my chair just stopped working. Dead, for no reason. Just jiggling wire brought it back to life. Wonderful.

But I'm getting a dog!