Braces again

I emailed a report from my podiatrist to the orthotics guy and my physical therapist.

She said the braces seem to be irritating my hammer toes because when my foot is at rest the toes are relaxed but when the braces keeps my foot in a proper places, the toes tighten. The visual she used was holding up her hands with her fingers straight to show the relaxes toes. But when the braces are on, she said, it's like this, squeezing her fingers into a cramped, witch-like hand.

And my hammer toes aren't normal, she said. See how it bends down at the first joint, she said, that's common. But then you have this weird little thing (I really wish I remember the exact words she used) where the tip hyperextends.

Unique!

She gave me a little tube-like bandage to keep the toe straight and told ne they could slice the tendon is that didn't work. The bandage works at the moment.

She also said toward with the orthotics guy.

He didn't email back, but his office called to set up an appointment.

Chest protected

In a move either unprecedented or at least quite rare in Bitter annals, two good posts appear back to back.

I will save the bitterness involved in this one -- there is plenty -- and focus on the end result. Or the intermission. If it were the very end, i might get bitter.

I got a new chest belt and was disappointed to learn that they did not order me the one designed for independent use but rather the one built for someone else to clasp.

The attachment is hard to do, but before that even becomes an issue, one would have to be able to reach the two parts of the belt. I couldn't.

Enter my work sister. She is as wonderful as my other sisters. She is also quite crafty, so she brought in some velcro and a glue gun, and now I can reach both parts.

I am protected!

I'm going to Florida

My family and friends do mitigate the rottenness of life, so rather than talk about how my left brace fell off three times in the first hour and a half of wearing it, I will write about something else.

My 14-year-old nephew and I were talking about his Beach Week for eighth-graders trip at the end of the school year. (OK, not exactly Beach Week. He is going with a science teacher.)

I told him I'd love to go. He said he'd take  me if he could.

I am not sure if he realizes the seriousness of what he said. If I am still alive in 10 years, I'm going to Florida.

Why does it have to be so hard?

My braces cause me pain, but they help me stand and transfer.

I like swimming, but it can cause me to have stomach issues, which are acting up now.

I am tired at night, but my restless often keep me awake.

Today was finally warm enough to say it is spring, but my allergies keep me from really enjoying it.

I like going into the office, but I am have problems getting in more than twice a week.

I could go on, but suffice it to say, I am struggling.

Laughing to keep from crying

So this happened yesterday:

I went to the bathroom before my physical therapy student came. I was having trouble standing -- my foot kept sliding even though I was back in the braces. I wound up sitting back on the toilet, but I slid off.

As I was sliding, I heard velcro tearing. I knew what it was but not why.

All my sweats these days have velcro flies thanks to Mom. The sound was the fly opening.

Once I recovered (that's right because I am tough as nails), I saw the button had popped off my pants. It was too late to change before my PT came, but these sweats have drawstrings.

So I called Mom to come over and tie the drawstring. She did.

But it didn't stay, so she hunted down a safety pin that did work OK...

Until after dinner, when I needed to use the toilet and couldn't lower my pants. I called Mom again. She came over, loosened the sweets and used the lift to put me on the toilet.

She put me back in the chair and left the room for a moment. I was buckling my seatbelt, but ...

I was sitting on the right side of it. I leaned over to grab it and fell onto the floor. Mom came in to find me on the floor, OK but annoyed.

I suggested we wait for my sister to get home, but she didn't like that idea and so we started sliding me into a sitting position. At one point slipped to the floor as well.

Dad joined us, and between the three of us, we got me back into my chair, where I quickly  did the seatbelt.

Toe 'hammers' braces

It is hammer-toes one, braces zero lately.

On Thursday, I gave up wearing the braces because my hammer toe on the right foot hurt and was getting more painful.

I will probably try to wear them again Monday, and I am going to the podiatrist in a week and a half to see what's what. He will probably recommend surgery, which will be fine.

Hammer toes are a issue in our family. I just won the genetic lottery to get all the problems in the family.

Mumble mumble

I speak poorly. No surprise.

But in case I forgot, there was this morning.

A colleague asked why I wouldn't be in the rest of the week. I told him because Fame had to have a tooth pulled (she broke it on a nylabone).

He started going on about me getting my wisdom teeth out. I said, no, Fame, and I thought he got it till he started talking about how I'd be drinking milkshakes for a few days. I stopped correcting him and just agreed.

A little later, I was telling a woman about a study I read about that is her area of expertise. She responded with something unrelated. I tried again. Same unrelated result.

I don't blame them, but it is why I rarely talk.

Heres why

Despite being somewhat treacly, Dire Straits' Why Worry is one of my favorite tunes.

I have never been exactly sure why I don't rate it down there with Don't Worry Be Happy, which my first head-shrinker wanted me to adopt as a motto.

Partly, it's because it's Mark Knopfler and the boys. Partly, it is because it reminds me of my oldest sister and her husband.

Today, as I was listening to a version by Knopfler and Emmylou Harris, I realized why.

First, it's not a command. It's just a suggestion. But mostly it's these lyrics:

There should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain

Sure, there should. Usually, there isn't (well, there is in the case of rain). Often, more pain or different pain moves in.

That's why you worry.

How sinister

I went back to the braces guy Wednesday. Actually, I am going to call him the orthotics guy. Braces guy makes me think of Dr. Ralph, my old orthodontist.

Anyway, his opinion on why the left brace was not staying on was that it's my fault. My left ankle's, specifically.

It is too tight.

The brace can't hold it in place. It's like a jailbreak, it just busts out.

The answer, he said, was another brace, one I'd were at night.

His explanations make sense, even if they do benefit his company.

April is not the cruelest month

APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with spring rain.

Winter kept us warm, covering

Earth in forgetful snow, feeding 

A little life with dried tubers.

Apparently, T.S. Eliot was suggesting that April is bad because it gives the hopeless hope, only to leave them still suffering despite the breeding lilacs.  I do not recall this from my high school analysis of The Waste Land.

The poem, even if it doesn't rhyme, does have rhythm, and I have no beef with the argument. It is a  good one. April can suck  as nature shows off its rebirth.

But ...

It should start "April is the second cruelest month." T.S. should also spell "cruelest" correctly.

April has its faults, but it is warm.

March sucks always.

You are weary from a hard winter, and March even tantalizes with warm weather, but then it packs the warmth away and poor brass monkeys are left wander around with their balls frozen off.

Those monkeys would be perfect fits in the Waste Land.

i never forget

It is not as if I can ever forget that I have Friedreich's ataxia.

I wake up, and the first thing I do is use a urinal because my bladder parts don't work right and I can get u and use the toilet.

I go to sleep hoping my restless legs won't keep me up.

Throughout the day, similar thought arise.

My point is: I really don't need any reminders.

Today, I went through some medical papers that hammered it home that I have FA and it is bad.