An uncle of firsts

We held part one of my uncle’s funeral yesterday. Friends and family gathered to tell stories.

It was good to hear them, well, read them. We bought in a captioner for me and my brother.

As I listened, I wanted to talk. I didn’t, of course. Even though it is my job, I am not much of a communicator, especially speaking. Also, I am not sure I’d have been able to get my words out without crying.

I wouldn’t have told them about how at the dinner table one night, he put my finger in a nutcracker and slowly started squeezing. I laughed until it hurt so bad I started crying and could not tell him to stop.

I also would not have told them he got my little sister to take a swig of vinegar, although I wish someone had told that story.

No, here is what I would have said:




For me, XXX was an uncle of firsts.

He was the first person I knew who had a dog (Doobie) and the first to raise puppies (with the crazy awesome Plott hound Peaches, the daughter of Bad Leroy).

He was the first, and still only, person to give me a ride on a motorcycle.

He took me to my first baseball game. The Orioles beat the Blue Jays in the 12th inning on a Doug DeCinces homer. I was 9, and somehow got up the nerve to ask a ball girl for a ball. I got one.

He also took me on my first fishing trip (not my first time fishing). It went poorly: no fish, no nibbles even, I fell in the freezing water then burned my hand on a woodstove. But he handled it all.

He taught me all I know about fireworks.

There’s many more firsts: He bought me my first aluminum bat, he was the first person I knew with tattoos or who sometimes slept in a hammock, he and his brother introduced me to the blues.

All three of my uncles (and countless others) helped me become the person I am. One wrote a letter of recommendation to my colleges. One introduced me to Canine Companions for Independence and a good friend. XXX was different.

He lived next to us with Gram, or behind us in his Airstream trailer, for pretty much my entire youth, so I saw him daily. I saw him act with kindness regularly. In this, I am lucky.