Rotten ride

My legs are failing me. Whether it is from years of misuse, like jumping off couches on to my knees, or from Freidriech's ataxia or disuse, I think they have just about had it. And I am just so angry about it.

I don't ask for much ... No, I do ask for much, I know. I just don't expect much to come from all my asking.

But I don't want to get worse. I have pleaded for that little nugget: just fucked, not really fucked.

It's happening, though. I went for a ride on my trike tonight and I could hardly make my legs pedal in circles. It wasn't that it was too high a gear or something. They just didn't work.

Mom said maybe we should look into a handcycle, but my arms get enough exercise. My legs need more, but they can't get it.

My transfers are worse, too. Instead of sliding straight from wheelchair to other seat and vice versa, it is more like a "U." I slide off one seat, then my butt falls till it is on my ankles, then I raise to my chair.

I hope I shrug this off and feel better tomorrow. I haven't ridden my trike in a while. Maybe I just need to reprogram my legs. It has just been a rotten weekend.

I started feeling rotten Friday because I realized that most of my friends are co-workers that I won't see till Monday. Friday night was Wii-filledf fun. Then on Saturday, I worked all day setting up a website for someone who decided they didn't like it after they told me just what they wanted. I spent all day Sunday mad about this, and then came the bike ride.